What if you... just started?
How following bursts of inspiration can change your life.
“What if I wrote a book?”
That question hit me at probably the worst possible time. I was living abroad, working during night hours, seven months postpartum, and running on whatever minimal sleep my son allowed me. My brain was pretty much goo, and my free time was nonexistent.
And yet, this idea wouldn’t leave me alone.
Big projects, big dreams, and big “what ifs” rarely show up at convenient times. They don’t wait for you to have your life perfectly together, your schedule cleared, and eight hours of uninterrupted focus time. (Oh how I wish that were the case!)
They tend to show up in the chaos and test if you’re willing to move forward.
You Can Give Yourself Permission
I spent most of 2023 reading — almost 80 books, if we’re counting. It was pure escapism while I waited to move back to the US, a way to mentally check out from the overwhelm of what felt like an everlasting difficult postpartum phase and the frustration of living between two worlds.
Some of those 80 books were incredible. And some were... let’s just say they made me think, “Wait, how did this get published?”
And that’s when my delusional confidence kicked in.
I’m calling it delusional because objectively, I had no business writing a book. I was barely staying sane amidst keeping a tiny human alive. I was working overnight therapy sessions across time zones with my clients in California, and I hadn’t slept properly in months. But somehow, reading a couple mediocre published books gave me permission to think: “I could at least write a draft, just to get it out of my system.”
From there, a journey began and a realization hit: you don’t need permission to start. You don’t even need perfect circumstances or to feel “ready.” (Hint: I’m pretty sure that nobody ever actually feels ready for their big projects or dreams.)
You really just need the audacity to believe that your idea deserves to exist, and the courage to ignore the part of your brain that worries about becoming a “failure.”
From Brain Spiral to Google Doc
The book idea started to keep me up at night. Not in an anxiety way (though historically there has been plenty of that too), but in that positively nagging way where your brain won’t shut up because it’s genuinely excited about something.
So I did what seemed reasonable at the time: I plopped my ideas into a Google Doc at 2 AM during a brief moment when my son decided to actually be asleep.
An outline formed, full of ideas inspired by my work as a therapist — all the things I wished someone had told me before starting therapy, all the conversations I kept having with new clients explaining what therapy really is and how to feel better, and all the stigma and logistical barriers I watched people navigate to get in the door for their first session.
I thought that typing it out would be enough to settle my brain, with a dopamine hit released just by getting the ideas down so I could move on with my life.
It was, in fact, not enough.
The Email That Changed Everything
I did something that felt simultaneously brave and terrifying: I emailed my messy Google Doc to a potential publisher. I didn’t polish the email like my typically anxious self tends to do; I just sent it with essentially a note that said, “Could this idea be something?”
One thing led to another, and suddenly I was in conversations about timelines and chapters and cover designs. I was swept up in a commitment that turned my 2 AM brain dump into a real, actual book. With accountability, deadlines, and an attempt to stay afloat in my own personal life.
The sleep deprivation didn’t help, but honestly, it might have been the secret ingredient. When you’re that exhausted, you stop overthinking and waiting for things to be perfect. You just do the thing because you’re too tired to talk yourself out of it.
What’s Stopping You?
Although I’m quite amazed that I was actually able to write a book, I didn’t write all this to brag. I’m telling you because I know you have something that you’re working on, too. Perhaps even bigger and better than my book project, and definitely something the world needs to see!
Maybe it’s a book you’ve been thinking about writing, or it’s a business idea you keep pushing to “someday.” There might be a skill you want to learn, a project you want to start, a change you want to make.
Whatever it is, you’ve been carrying it around, waiting for the right time.
The right time is a myth, and there will always be reasons not to start. (“I’m too busy,” or the classic, “Someone else has probably already done it better.”)
My argument is that you shouldn’t listen to that rude and limiting voice in your head. The world needs your ideas.
Start Smaller Than Feels Reasonable
If you know me, you know that I am quite fond of baby steps. You don’t have to commit to the whole project right now. You don’t have to know how it ends or if it’ll even work out.
Just take the very next smallest step.
For me, that was opening a Google Doc and typing out ideas while half-asleep. I didn’t commit to writing a book — that would have scared me away from the project entirely! I just committed to getting the noise out of my head so I could maybe sleep.
Then the next step was sending an email. Then the next was saying yes to a conversation. Then outlining chapters. Then writing one section at a time during my son’s naps. (Literally, in 20-minute bursts at the time. Phew.)
None of it felt like “writing a book” in the moment; it just felt like doing the next small thing. But eventually, those small things added up to something big and real.
The “Big Project” Doesn’t Care About Your Circumstances
Your big project doesn’t care that your life is chaotic, or that you’re tired or busy or unsure. You might find that it’s going to keep showing up in your brain, asking “what if?”
Sure, you can keep ignoring it or keep waiting for the perfect time that never comes. Or (and if I have my influence on you like I hope) you can start messily and see where it goes.
I wrote a book while working nights, parenting a toddler and ababy, and living in a country where I didn’t speak the language fluently. If I had waited for ideal circumstances, I’d still be waiting. (Just as I still am waiting for my youngest to finally sleep through the night.)
Then this book, the crazy idea that started as a way to quiet my noisy brain, wouldn’t exist.
What’s Your “What If?”
In less than a month, I Didn’t Want to Either: Transforming Therapy from Daunting to Doable will be available for purchase (February 24th, 2026, mark your calendars). This book started as a question I asked myself in the middle of chaos, and became real because I stopped waiting for permission and just started.
So what’s your “what if?” What’s the project you’re not starting because the timing isn’t right, and what would happen if you just... started anyway?
Open the Google Doc, send the email, and take the first tiny step. The rest will figure itself out as you keep moving forward.
P.S. If your “what if” involves finally starting therapy, my book is literally designed for you. Pre-order through your favorite retailer here — because sometimes the big project you need to start is taking care of your mental health.